Monthly Archives: February 2014

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Self Reflection: Don’t Hold It Against Me

Don’t Hold It Against Me

by Hurit Nititka

 

Don’t hold it against me…

because it’s evident that by our truths we are not all created equal.

 

For him…

the color of his skin automatically gets him in, whatever he wants,

no questions asked accept, what denomination would like your money in?

 

For her…

birth should be beautiful but instead they say… look at you, what did you do, you just ruined your life.

It would’ve been acceptable had he made you his wife.

 

For him…

a mistake cost him dearly, now he’s locked upstate,

moms kept warning him to stop….not hard enough,

cause his siblings was hungry, and shit got tough.

He knew the risks and still tried his luck.

 

For her…

family denied her cause she wouldn’t abort

so she moved in with him and the first night they fought,

and the second night, the third night and the fourth.

He beat her so bad she now has a limp, a flinch and nervous cough.

He suddenly lost his job and now she carryin’ TWO kids, and she thinkin’,

would it really have been different if we first got married?

 

And him…

he got struggles but they can’t see through the lives he juggle.

Best at his game, best at his lies, he thinks if he fuck enough girls…

they won’t know he like guys.

 

And them…

they all looks, fucked in all kind of industries, then made a milli…off a book.

But you know what?

If they get fucked hard to the soul they can live their dream,

they finer than pimps in suits sellin’ their scheme.

 

And you…

talent for sell…momma said do something better with ya life…

but you didn’t…o well.

A hundred bitches, a hundred lives, and a hundred thousand dollar rides, sir just sign there…

yeah right there on the dotted line.

Now, what denomination would you like your loan in?

 

So don’t hold it against me for seeing the evidence that our truths are not all created equal.

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Self-Reflection: Black Hole

Black Hole
by Hurit Nitika

Consumed by all and nothing…
Highest greatest widest deepest fullest vessel…NOTHINGNESS.
Nothing IS.
IT is nothing…
until it is born.
Nothing bears all…thought time space matter…
…and nothing.
I was before
I AM.
I will…
…again
be
Nothingness…and all.
Forever.

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Self Reflection: Sadie and Maud

Sadie and Maud

by Gwendolyn Brooks

 

Maud went to college.

Sadie stayed at home.

Sadie scraped life

with a fine-tooth comb.

She didn’t leave a tangle in.

Her comb found every strand.

Sadie was one of the livingest chits

in all the land.

 

Sadie bore two babies

under her maiden name.

Maud and Ma and Papa

nearly died of shame.

 

When Sadie said last so-long

Her girls struck out from home.

(Sadie had left as heritage

Her fine-tooth comb.)

 

 

Maud, who went to college,

is a thin brown mouse.

She is living all alone

In this old house.

 

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Spiritual Dialogue: Vibrational Storms

Problem: I end up in fear every time I plan to go to the dance club. I plan with people and then as the day is coming closer I think of reasons not to go. I think about my responsibilities at home, my family, my job, what the people at the club  will be doing, and what if something goes wrong. Then on the day of, I literally get an anxiety attack, and that becomes my excuse not to go. Then I feel safe again when the time has passed.

As a result, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Is this all in my head or should I really stay away from party clubs? I really do want to be social, make new friends, and have a good time while being responsible.

Solution: You are suffering with inner imbalance. Your external environment seeks to transform your inner peace, while your higher awareness is trying to maintain your inner peace.

What you fear is going “back” to where you use to be and what you use to do…and finding out that people haven’t changed.

Whatever is on that frequency, the people, plants, animals, is because their vibrations match that particular frequency. They are “locked” in that frequency, until they are ready to change. Your fear is actually an indication that you’ve grown or matured beyond that frequency. Your “present” vibrations are contrasting with your “past” frequencies, which never actually go anywhere, you just grow beyond them. Your fear, which is in fact a healthy signal, is telling you to be aware that something is not right between your inner state and in your external environment.

Humans are much like weather systems within a greater system. Sometimes before a pouring rain, is thunder and lightening. Thunder and lightening is caused by two very different temperament systems coming in contact with each other, so it is within humans. Within you may be a peaceful vibration, and  going into certain external vibrations can cause an unbalance in your being, thus the anxiety. The external vibrations are seeking to occupy and take over the same internal space, thus creating your thunder and lightening. The result will be a high or low, or happiness or unhappiness.

You are experiencing an internal/external “battle” within your mpral conscious mind. This “battle” causes unbalance in your whole being, which for many people, can result in mental and/or physical illness, if they are unaware of their inner unbalance.

If you listen to your vibrations warnings and take the steps necessary to redirect your thoughts early, you can void “falling” back into old ways–lower frequencies.

Instead of fighting with yourself about having a good time in old places, try something new…something different than what you did before. Meet new people where you are. Your goal is to enjoy your new life responsibly while being at peace within yourself, and being happy where you are and with the people you are around.

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Spiritual Dialogue: Checking In

It feels like a lot to bear and sometimes I think it is…though as I might appear to be OK. As I’ve said before, I’ve taught myself to left go of illusion in moments, spend as little time in void as possible, gain the new ledge I require, wake up, write on it, share some, and keep it moving.

I admit…there are consequences to doing that…consequences to not resting…going without grounding for long periods. The body gathers too much energy and it becomes that much harder to release…at lease in an upright manner. The body muscles freeze in pain…and sometimes it vibrates so hard…it burns the hands and feet…or feels like a thousand needles sticking.

…and sometimes I can’t believe some of the things I say…until it solidifies itself as truth…usually through some synchronized event.

Not to say I don’t trust myself…its just new to me as old as it might be to the ancestral realms…it be heavy at times…the realizations…and the awakenings. And a good amount of that time I thinking how much I put myself through…how much I messed up.

I rarely get upset with those who blinded us to the truth…cause then I’d still be giving them my attention…to their benefit and my detriment. I try to tell others but like myself…there are so many awakenings and realizations to go through…for all of us. Don’t get stuck on any one truth…because another one…a newer one is surely going to usurp that current one.

Still others like myself are fast-tracking…I have yet to admit the realization to the reason…if I slow down and focus on the details of why, I might fool myself into believing I can’t do it.

As we view the various groups traveling together…they travel as one external being..but in a fearful manner called SAFE. While there may be safety in numbers externally…everyone is not on the same path internally. Internally many still hold tight to illusion while externally appearing to have moved into higher frequencies. Our energies tell us otherwise. Internally, many still have yet to answer to themselves.

Knowledge and experience are two different things…many are sharing knowledge…few are sharing their experiences…proving internal fear…of ridicule..or something, someone or other. Or self.

And so this is part reason why I travel alone…and meet others at intervals. Though I also admit…I don’t stay around long enough…I feel because much like in wake state…I also carry dual duties in sleep state. I’m working on me and still having to show others the way.

By the time someone gets my message I done moved on in my journey…not saying I don’t mind back-tracking though. I probably just need to utilize more tools to set the message out front.

Resources have come about enabling us to imprint guidance into the ether via the writing, video, and such.

Thanks. Thank you. Much.

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Willful Relationships: I Love You Now Change

Sistahs…the hardest thing for many of us to admit is….”It’s ME!” Ok granted your man/boyfriend/husband actually is being “wrong” toward you—in any way that wrong may be described. You must realize it is YOU who keeps his negative flow fed; you continually tolerate the pain caused to you (physical, emotional, mental, financial) by allowing what he is doing “wrong” to live in your energy aura. In other words it’s YOU!

Your partner is going to be who he is until he learns to know better AND be better…and he’s going to do what he does…until he learns to do AND does better. Fault lies in the person who thinks they know a person better than that person knows them self…and attempts to change them. You’re implying that there is something wrong with him in the first place. Not the man God sent you…no way!!! (slanted)

What you attempt to see and bring out of them, you must first see and bring out of your self. In other words, for every wrong you see in him, what is it about yourself that limits your thinking to a negative state?

People don’t change according to OUR will— unless they fear us by some distress or threatening state we place them in. Who’s to say even still we are experiencing their truth? How many times have you heard of the prisoner to writes a “confession” under forced pressure? You can try to force someone to “stay” with you but for so long–eventually truth will split from the lie, leaving the lie exposed to address itself.

Who wants to live in a fear-filled relationship disguised as Love when in company of others (who are blind to truth)…but behind closed doors…o boy…you’re tearing his head off about every little thing? From him looking at other humans with his own two eyes…to the tone in which he said hello to someone. Where is the freedom to love and BE as each human with their own will?

SO we can scream and fuss and cry and pout and ask everyone between humans and heaven, “Why won’t he change?!!!” He won’t change even when he does…because YOU haven’t changed in order to see the change in him.

And he’ll move forward without you…because you still harp on his old ways and therefore cannot see the good in him…because you can no longer see your own good. You’re too busy fussing, being angry, and picking fights. You don’t trust him…because you don’t trust yourself. You hate him…because you’ve grown to hate yourself.

And if he does continue to transgress against you, you grow more into contempt, when you really should let go. Letting go is a strong message to ANYONE who hurts you. It says, “I love you but not enough to hurt myself for you.”

SO–your prayer was answered—and he did change…but so did you—for worse. How’s that working out for you where you’re at?

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BEing Aware: Karma Doesn’t Have to Last a Lifetime

We all must put in the self-clearing work required–to revoke all agreements that we have made, either consciously or subconsciously to give our soul’s power away to external authorities. We experience unnecessary suffering or limitations, to bear “karmic” burdens that are NOT ours to bear.

This is not a quick process, and I am going through my own version of Karmic clearing on a daily basis. I’m so close within my own truth that sometimes I literally experience a chain of positive events on all “past present future” frequencies of self, when I do/be positive. And just a flip of my energy anywhere outside of my truth will thrust me into a quicksand of aggravation, distrust, causing dislike of self and limited un-thinking. In other words, we have the ability, when we are aware of SELF, to measure KARMA!

Who has time to worry about what “rackup” KARMA is holding when we’re working on ourselves in keeping in synch with our own truth? How does KARMA decide how much reward or punishment to dish out and when? In other words when we’re good, we’re really good, and we’re rewarded–by external forces? …and when we’re bad we’re really bad, and we’re punished–by external forces? Then why are negative forces “allowed” to enslave positive forces? Karma seems to dish that one out unfairly huh?

I AM as I AM. AWARE.

We seek to strike a balance among our many dimensional selves…some negative some positive but all acknowledged and respected.
We’ve come to a place where we know we’re are no longer experiencing “KARMA” but indeed we are experiencing SELF as I AM.

Sometimes we get “locked” into a particular frequency outside of our truth. When we make choices to “come down” and interact with anyone/anything unlike Self-truth, we experience a “sliding scale” of e-motions and/or beings…in other words…sometimes we ego trip…we compete…we compare…we judge(though we do redirect from that place very often)…we lust…we joke…we like material things too. (After all, we are multidimensional beings.) That doesn’t mean we’re going to suffer…for THINKING (contrary to popular fear belief).

We suffer in BEING in our lower frequencies–unaware.

We suffer when we are anywhere outside of our heart’s frequency…not by thinking but by BEING. In the lower frequencies, we do without thinking. In the higher frequencies, we think before being–we are aware. So though we sometimes THINK about “going down” we have plenty of time to not BEcome into our lower frequencies (though we live among so many others living in their lower beings). Our lower thoughts are not feared or hated,  instead, they are acknowledged and redirected back to our truth–where they are ex-posed and forgiven.

Many do get “locked” in low frequencies even though it may not be their heart’s intention (because they are not thinking in their higher aware self, just doing…and eventually BEing lowly). The longer those ones stay outside of their truth frequency the more lost they become.

We are experiencing our SELF awareness. There are no rules to our experiences, because we are aware and we create as we go along…and we do it freely–as a sovereign beings.

KARMA need no longer reflect SELF –I am aware. KARMA is an external law outside of SELF. We can easily believe (as I have before this inner realization) that whenever we do something “wrong” this KARMA being is going to “get us back for it–if not right now, then some time into the “future”, when we least expect it. Should we worry over it and tread heavy hearted on ice? No! That’s called guilt or shame–and we do not suffer when we void BEing in lower frequencies that produce guilt and shame.

We are aware of who we are, what we are doing, how we are doing it…we are BEing SELF. No more cycling…no karma. I AM SELF, AWARE.