Self-Empowerment: Conflictive Support in Friendships

​I’ve learned to invest in my own ideas, my own thoughts, my own feelings. I’ve had so many businesses…I can count way pass ten digits. NOTHING but users and abusers and naysayers around me…or people who wanted to change my ideas…or decide what their idea of support is, which was usually the opposite of what I asked, if at all. We automatically think because we have a product, that the greatest thing someone can do for us is buy the product. But then what?

If you all are not aware, on new years eve, a celeb felt of good cheer and sent out a message of monetary support to fans who shared their need of funds for various reasonings. 

There was one woman who asked for “people support”. In other words, she asked to be connected to supportive people vs giving her the money. The celeb in turn asked how much money she needed, she settled on $5000, and made it known that she would preferred the people support, the tone sounded disappointed. 

I thought to myself, why not just give her the “people support”, maybe she has money, “people support” would help her elevate her business. That sucks.

If you’ve been in my home, you’ve seen several paintings on my walls and have commented however you felt about them. In asking who the artist was…you eventually found out it was me. I have been offered money for them and commissioned to paint for others. I’ve refused it all. 

Recently a very good friend of mine, mentioned that the paintings are just sitting there three years now, when they should be shared with the world. I never thought of that. I consider these paintings as stages in my life. He noted that they aren’t stages, they are who I am, and that other people would be able to relate when they see the paintings…and would buy prints for their living rooms and offices, and cards and other merchandise. 

Then he said, “You want to sell a successful product, make it personal. Don’t sell a t-shirt if it isn’t personal. Sell hair products that you use yourself, and definitely do not sell makeup, because you don’t even wear makeup…maybe lip color. Like you sell your perfumes and body oils; if it smells like your father, you can still share that. Personality sells. Share your personality! You are a multi-millionaire and haven’t collected your check, because you’re hoarding your most profitable product. You. YOU are creative if ever I seen a woman create. If you say it smells like Heaven, share that! You’ve written in other people’s names for so long, put YOUR name on the books! Put out the products you create…even if it is just one at a time. You have a house full of products; every time I come here you’ve created something new, and you explain their existence very well from wherever you travelled in your sleep, but share them with the people. Personality sells! You don’t have to have a gimmick..be yourself. How many people have you supported and the product was no good or those people knew you until you bought their products, then they didn’t know you anymore. Those are gimmicks. Those people don’t last. Sell longevity and impact more than temporary and trendy. In the meantime, I’m going to support you by paying for three trademarks, you decide which three and let me know in 30 days.”

That was the best support I’ve had in many years. Not the buying of the trademarks…the ASSESSMENT. The DISCUSSION. And my friend and I have disagreements every so often! But the truth is the truth and he came through with prime support! People tend to void disagreements with me…directly with me anyway. I tend to speak up…as I assume friends disagree, talk about it, and then move forward. But instead of doing that, they ignore me, and tell everyone around them, ask strangers who don’t know me for the answer, they write subposts, they don’t respond to my texts or calls, or they simply stop engaging with me. And that says a lot to me. Lack of respect, or that I’m not worth their time. Which contradicts their supposedly interest in having a friendship in the first place. Friends disagree. So therefore how can I support a person that doesn’t even want to talk to me just because I may disagree with something? I’ve gotten rid of my phone number…no need for it. 

Last night, I dreamed a Crone told me that my (omit) left me some money when she died, and the Crone offered to help me find the money. However the Crone lead me on a dark path that was littered with accidents, and people I thought I was cool with were walking around in the dark. The Crone hit one of them with her car(a baby blue Cadillac 1970ish) like the person was a rag doll. I thought me and that person was cordial..even shared some stories…but who knew. Envy isn’t always blunt. And there was nothing but storm after storm. I decided it wasn’t worth getting that money if I had to go through such a dark energy, and she tried to give me hell. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to help me or hurt me. So I decided to close that book and changed dreams for something more inspirational.

I’m looking at CONFLICT differently. I think people approach us with personal interests of friendship, and their own intentions of which we are not often aware; and when we don’t go along or support something, we’re a problem, and they begin to stay away or just in the edge for a while. However, in us thinking something is wrong with us, God done in the meantime blocked their access to you, but you don’t know that, because what you hear when you reach out is “I’ve been busy.” You further pull up thoughts of nobody is that busy that they can’t make time to say hi or whatever. But the truth is they ARE busy. And it’s not about you, it’s about them. 
Again if you have a disagreement with someone and they choose to ignore you rather than address it, stop reaching out. No everyone can handle conflict or see their way through, some can and choose not to conflict with you, and ultimately, people have every right to consciously cut off access and engage with those who will agree with their intentions without conflict to themselves. Let’s not get back into sacrifices. Just don’t sacrifice your own well-being and fool yourself into thinking you’re being SUPPORTIVE.

I woke this morning and the last words I heard coming out of sleep this morning was, “Keep failing until you succeed.” I felt like that was a good start to the next three years. I am a multi-millionaire. I know that. I just never admitted it and committed it to myself. And it’s ok. I am supporting myself and all my dreams, intents and purposes. You know, self empowerment.

Self-Motivation: Reclaim Your Momentum

Reclaim your momentum

If you should happen to lose your momentum, don’t give up on it. Do what’s necessary to get it back.

When the flow of your effort is unexpectedly interrupted, don’t make that an excuse to stop. Instead, let it prompt you to quickly recommit to the effort.

You’ve put in a lot of work getting to this point. Make all that work count for something by continuing on with it.

It’s natural to be dismayed about losing your momentum. So let your dismay inspire you to reclaim that momentum.

You were knocked off track, but that’s no reason to wander around in the wilderness. Put all your focus on getting back to what you were doing, getting back in the flow.

Your forward momentum is worth the work you put into creating it, and worth getting back if you lose it. Reclaim your momentum, and make it stronger than ever before.

— Ralph Marston

Self Healing: Back To the Basics

​Hey y’all this Sunday rising is a rather mind-sobering mood..I’m not complaining, it’s a good thing.

 

I’m out here like Father for(e)give me for being an asshole and not wearing my glasses that time. I pressured myself to pre-form…when I wasn’t even ready. Most people take their glasses off to see, I have to put mine on. That’s how I see what my father wants me to SEE.
Y’all ever did that? Engage in something prematurely? How could you not see the real horizon through the mirage in your face? Because you weren’t wearing your glasses…your righted mind! Your awareness and insight was off course!
In the future, wait. Give it another 24 hours. Let the heatwave simmer down.
Self Foregiveness and Self Responsibility have been my theme this month. My father god reminded me this rising about a discussion we had back on 12/20/12 in the Great Room. Sometimes we have to go back to the basics, no matter how far we’ve come.
Oddly, during that same sleep work, I saw the sun explode. So many people were burned up. I wasn’t and I walked right through the fire and falling ambers. THAT event was rather symbolic because my life HAD changed from that night forward. The process of Self-Healing had begun. As with anything else, the more of yourself you give to your DARKSelf, the better of your LIGHTSelf you will receive back. God’s remedy to heal any suffering soul, broken spirit, worn or broken heart, and any phase of a relationship is a process to be worked at with discipline:
–REVELATION: Opening oneself up to review of his/her faults and/or negative beings; their transgressions.
-REALIZATION: Now knowing and acknowledging to his/her transgressions and accepts his/her responsibility and role he/she played in revealed transgressions.
–FORGIVENESS: Asking for forgiveness unto ones God-Head is perhaps the most important part of healing. The bowing of the head acknowledges that one has realized and is sorry for their transgression against others and/or Self. Forgiveness is a confirmation of agreement with Self and/or between two or more beings, to move forward and no longer hold Self or others in a place of negative vibrations; or contempt nor condemnation.
Make a lovely day.

Self-Healing: My Fore-Giving is for Me

​I would hate for anybody to assume that I hate them just cause I don’t engage anymore. I’m a fore-giving person. However, fore-giving doesn’t mean makeup and move forward.
Foregiveness means I’m giving myself CLOSURE to ANY situation that is proving to be be counter-productive to my goals and desires, to my integrity, beFORE I fuck up any further. My fore-giving is about ME. Just like the rest of whatever I got going on. Why would I dwell in darkness, harm my own wellness and hand someone else my healing? 
My foregiving is about me. This is not some thing y’all gonna hear a common person say. I’m not common…this is why its so easy for me to share. I don’t worry about not being me. I just be me…in whatever capacity. Be you. If you have some shit to get out your chest in order to be you…do that. Your heart..do that…your mind…do that…your body…do that. And do it as quickly as possible. So you can have closure amd move in the next best thing. 
Living your best life is not getting a thing and showing it off. Living your best life is a process of waking up, taking responsibility for your energy ouput and intake, overcoming the mis-takes, foregiving yourself, and enjoying the successes of whatever comes out of it at the time. It going to happen over and over through your life! 
If you leave your foregiving and healing up to others, they will never let it go. They will never let YOU let it go…and they will work at tarnishing your character and always attempt to make themselves look good by making you look bad. And you shouldn’t have to spend good energy convincing other people that your not that bad. If someone of fucking with you, it’s because they’re afraid of you. That’s it, plain and simple.
I’m the confidante to several persons who lack the ability to foregive themselves. And believe me, it’s heavy shit. But I’M here for me…and people see that, and trust me to be there for them. As much as I share, I’m still a very private person. 
Foregiving is for YOU to move ON with YOUR life…not forward with the bullshit packed away.

SELF-DETERMINATION: Relationship Goals: Where Are We Going?

I had a conversation with an associate…we talked about be single for very long times and how we view ourselves and the kind of relationships we’ve had that caused us to become single, and where are we going now. She recently got back into a relationship…I asked her what is it based on this time, she seemed puzzled. I asked her what their goals are together, she looked at me like “What goals??”

THAT is the next phase I’m going into…as much as humans say marriage is not a goal. Marriage is a goal like any other. And within the marriage are goals that the two people agreed to achieve together. There are people out there who move blindly(seeing what pops up along the way), and there are people who move consciously(creating what they desire along the way). Four seasons suffices to know whether you want to marry a person or not..whether you want to achieve longtime goals with them or not.

Too many sisters fall back into the okkee doke of “It’s been a long time, I’m lonely.” Sex is such a common base that it’s mistaken as a necessary aspect to bond two people…clearly the result is “baby mama/dada” syndrome…it never bonds anything but bodies and fluids. There are only two goals in sex…babies and orgasm. And then play house until one of you catch afire for another body somewhere. Believe I know it. I’m qualified to talk about it. A year is long enough to know whether you’re dating a selfless person or a selfish person. Why? Because selfish people don’t have patience anymore like they use to..if you aint got it or ain’t giving it, they’ll get it somewhere else. And they’ll tell you that! After a year the veil begins to thin into the truth…not what they want you to see…but the TRUTH. And sometimes the truth can be ugly! A lot of selfless people are dating some ugly people! But you ask them..and their ugly man/woman is the most beautiful thing in the world! That’s some strong wool in their mind.

Not to mention the reality shows showing sistahs beating the bloody hell out of each other to be with some dusty male who believes he benefits from his “hoes” unconscious idiocy. Two years and more is too long to fake the funk…the signs are too easy to see when you’ve become conscious. Four seasons is long enough to ask the ultimate question to the brother, “Where are we going from here?” 

Right now for me, I’m dodging traffic… I’m conscious enough to see bullshit coming…conscious enough to hear what I can’t see coming. Conscious enough to step back when there’s too much of everything or nothing going on. No rush, I can always chill and write about it. In our reapings are the conscious wisdoms of the ignorance we sowed. If we’re seeking to cross the street, we have to acknowledge what we’re crossing from, lest we think it’s something different only to find out it’s the same thing.

We’re not to call on God to escape from life but help us to consciously grow into our better and best selves.

Video

Be There

The greatest love I ever had was the love I could not see. When I felt detached I thought it a dream and fought to see what I could not feel.
But I forgot in all the time I searched to see, I was losing the feeling inside of me. And looked to fill the emptiness with a veil of pretentious.
This whole thing isn’t about moving forward in so much as it is letting go. We can’t take it with us if it ain’t us. Accepting that pains us.
We know better when we get here. Then we forget. Then we remember. We go back. Then come back and then realize we can’t take it back with us.

You don’t know gut wrenching pain until you realize you separated yourself from GodSpirit. But to hear your ancestors did the same. Forgive it.