Category Archives: Uncategorized

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SELF-DETERMINATION: Relationship Goals: Where Are We Going?

I had a conversation with an associate…we talked about be single for very long times and how we view ourselves and the kind of relationships we’ve had that caused us to become single, and where are we going now. She recently got back into a relationship…I asked her what is it based on this time, she seemed puzzled. I asked her what their goals are together, she looked at me like “What goals??”

THAT is the next phase I’m going into…as much as humans say marriage is not a goal. Marriage is a goal like any other. And within the marriage are goals that the two people agreed to achieve together. There are people out there who move blindly(seeing what pops up along the way), and there are people who move consciously(creating what they desire along the way). Four seasons suffices to know whether you want to marry a person or not..whether you want to achieve longtime goals with them or not.

Too many sisters fall back into the okkee doke of “It’s been a long time, I’m lonely.” Sex is such a common base that it’s mistaken as a necessary aspect to bond two people…clearly the result is “baby mama/dada” syndrome…it never bonds anything but bodies and fluids. There are only two goals in sex…babies and orgasm. And then play house until one of you catch afire for another body somewhere. Believe I know it. I’m qualified to talk about it. A year is long enough to know whether you’re dating a selfless person or a selfish person. Why? Because selfish people don’t have patience anymore like they use to..if you aint got it or ain’t giving it, they’ll get it somewhere else. And they’ll tell you that! After a year the veil begins to thin into the truth…not what they want you to see…but the TRUTH. And sometimes the truth can be ugly! A lot of selfless people are dating some ugly people! But you ask them..and their ugly man/woman is the most beautiful thing in the world! That’s some strong wool in their mind.

Not to mention the reality shows showing sistahs beating the bloody hell out of each other to be with some dusty male who believes he benefits from his “hoes” unconscious idiocy. Two years and more is too long to fake the funk…the signs are too easy to see when you’ve become conscious. Four seasons is long enough to ask the ultimate question to the brother, “Where are we going from here?” 

Right now for me, I’m dodging traffic… I’m conscious enough to see bullshit coming…conscious enough to hear what I can’t see coming. Conscious enough to step back when there’s too much of everything or nothing going on. No rush, I can always chill and write about it. In our reapings are the conscious wisdoms of the ignorance we sowed. If we’re seeking to cross the street, we have to acknowledge what we’re crossing from, lest we think it’s something different only to find out it’s the same thing.

We’re not to call on God to escape from life but help us to consciously grow into our better and best selves.

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Be There

The greatest love I ever had was the love I could not see. When I felt detached I thought it a dream and fought to see what I could not feel.
But I forgot in all the time I searched to see, I was losing the feeling inside of me. And looked to fill the emptiness with a veil of pretentious.
This whole thing isn’t about moving forward in so much as it is letting go. We can’t take it with us if it ain’t us. Accepting that pains us.
We know better when we get here. Then we forget. Then we remember. We go back. Then come back and then realize we can’t take it back with us.

You don’t know gut wrenching pain until you realize you separated yourself from GodSpirit. But to hear your ancestors did the same. Forgive it.

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Watch “Sean Conn & L Cizzle – Be A Father To Your Child” on YouTube

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The Light Chamber

I went into a light chamber last night. I was singing the pain away, and calling Jesus between breaths. I FELT the song I sang in every fiber of my being. It was my song-the more I let go the greater I sang!

It felt like my soul was being sucked with every note I belted out. The depths of my soul was being cleansed. There was a bed there, but I couldn’t lie down, I was too caught up in my spirit.

When you finally sing your own song, you’ll understand-the only way TO survive is in the spirit. You’ll be yourself-in a different light-of your truth.

God is light. God is love.

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Watch “What is Real Love 1 – A Sufi Perspective” on YouTube

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We Reap What We Sow

One of my dreams last night, I was at a place with some other people as students. We sat high above something of a big space. It was beautiful and some parts one could see their reflection. We were informed that it echoes what we speak. We were told to be mindful of our intentions before were spoke into the echo space, because what we put out would come back. Including our thoughts.

But also, I saw some events from my past in that same space. I forgave all of those people for mocking me, stealing from me, and abusing me, and I forgave myself for being ignorant. We prepared to leave, and some of the people ran to the echo space and said things that would serve only themselves. I used it also but we’ll keep that private. :0)

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We Reap What We Sow

One of my dreams last night, I was at a place with some other people as students. We sat high above something of a big space. It was beautiful and some parts one could see their reflection. We were informed that it echoes what we speak. We were told to be mindful of our intentions before were spoke into the echo space, because what we put out would come back. Including our thoughts.
But also, I saw some events from my past in that same space. I forgave all of those people for mocking me, stealing from me, and abusing me, and I forgave myself for being ignorant. We prepared to leave, and some of the people ran to the echo space and said things that would serve only themselves. I used it also but we’ll keep that private. :0)