SELF-DETERMINATION: Relationship Goals: Where Are We Going?

I had a conversation with an associate…we talked about be single for very long times and how we view ourselves and the kind of relationships we’ve had that caused us to become single, and where are we going now. She recently got back into a relationship…I asked her what is it based on this time, she seemed puzzled. I asked her what their goals are together, she looked at me like “What goals??”

THAT is the next phase I’m going into…as much as humans say marriage is not a goal. Marriage is a goal like any other. And within the marriage are goals that the two people agreed to achieve together. There are people out there who move blindly(seeing what pops up along the way), and there are people who move consciously(creating what they desire along the way). Four seasons suffices to know whether you want to marry a person or not..whether you want to achieve longtime goals with them or not.

Too many sisters fall back into the okkee doke of “It’s been a long time, I’m lonely.” Sex is such a common base that it’s mistaken as a necessary aspect to bond two people…clearly the result is “baby mama/dada” syndrome…it never bonds anything but bodies and fluids. There are only two goals in sex…babies and orgasm. And then play house until one of you catch afire for another body somewhere. Believe I know it. I’m qualified to talk about it. A year is long enough to know whether you’re dating a selfless person or a selfish person. Why? Because selfish people don’t have patience anymore like they use to..if you aint got it or ain’t giving it, they’ll get it somewhere else. And they’ll tell you that! After a year the veil begins to thin into the truth…not what they want you to see…but the TRUTH. And sometimes the truth can be ugly! A lot of selfless people are dating some ugly people! But you ask them..and their ugly man/woman is the most beautiful thing in the world! That’s some strong wool in their mind.

Not to mention the reality shows showing sistahs beating the bloody hell out of each other to be with some dusty male who believes he benefits from his “hoes” unconscious idiocy. Two years and more is too long to fake the funk…the signs are too easy to see when you’ve become conscious. Four seasons is long enough to ask the ultimate question to the brother, “Where are we going from here?” 

Right now for me, I’m dodging traffic… I’m conscious enough to see bullshit coming…conscious enough to hear what I can’t see coming. Conscious enough to step back when there’s too much of everything or nothing going on. No rush, I can always chill and write about it. In our reapings are the conscious wisdoms of the ignorance we sowed. If we’re seeking to cross the street, we have to acknowledge what we’re crossing from, lest we think it’s something different only to find out it’s the same thing.

We’re not to call on God to escape from life but help us to consciously grow into our better and best selves.

Creative Power: Make a Wish and Let Go

We suffer with trust issues, because we suffer with control issues. We keep asking for something/someone (why ask for something if you can create it for yourself?)…and before our desired thought fully releases its “seed” into the creative universe we snatch control of the “seed” AND figure we can decide how it should BE-how it starts…grows out…AND finishes. Then if it/they become something unaligned with our desires we build a distrust for it/them! Then we feel “stuck” and develop a negative view of the whole outcome.

I think it was last night…somewhere in the universe…I heard in my thought vibration, “Let it stream. Void trying to control what hasn’t happened yet. Let the manifestation of the thought as IS develop simply by BEing true to you.” That higher directive can be used in every aspect of our life.

I’ve experienced and witnessed so many positive things develop in my life in just the last two years alone-simply because I let go and let God (highest universal frequency) create for me. I have a lovely home (sanctuary) that survived Hurricane Sandy in and of itself, while all around it was havoc (I imagined God put a “mark” on my door or an energy bubble around the whole complex), and also I now have a great career that pays more than I ever negotiated for my experience, skills, and abilities (I was unemployed for two years-loonngg years). My family is growing together positively.

Spiritually, I’m becoming stronger in my faith and growing a sturdy relationship in knowing God as the reason for my being. And I’m being better! My heart’s dialect enables me to tap into different frequencies and vibrations, and various timelines–for pleasure, sight-seeing, school, gatherings or inspiration to create.

Knowing what those seeds produced, I’m convinced that my desire to create a good solid relationship uplifted in love is no further than when I truly choose it to be–if I let go of the idea of how I think it SHOULD be. Just being true to myself will attract what I desire, all I have to do is be open and available.

In the mean time, it may be that we have some aspects of our self that require our attention, for healing purposes. I admit that there are some ways and beings that would benefit to uplift my indwelling love; and there are some ways and beings that I would benefit to purge from my DNA. Thus, I am being true to myself in being able to let go of negative hangups, embrace my higher being and heal–to the benefit of all.

There’s no way we keep saying we’re better off by ourselves than with someone and not feel some sort of negativity about the reason/s behind our statements. That is a form of control in the aspect that we think we’re protecting self from “harm”, when we’re actually attracting “harm” to self and distracting from self what we truly desire. We also say we’re too busy to give passionate love, but find time to greedily partake of others wholehearted passion. And when they’re unavailable we strike out in search of someone who is available to give to us. That is control in the aspect of seeking for something that another possesses while being too selfish in our lower self to create our own abundance–and share.

We will never be satisfied, and will be forever seeking–until we learn to let go of the idea of how others should make us happy and instead create our own abundance of happiness–and share. As we change the greater scheme changes.

When we trust ourselves, surely we can find trust in another. It’s the same with love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness and such. In expanded thought, we DO have the ability to “create” the person we want to be with…BUT to a fault. Because how can we put into another what we do not have in our self? What is that one or two (and more for some) things you can’t seem to find in your relationships and/or that you want in that other person? Whatever it is, create it in YOU first.

But then again, if you’re an energy vampire(admit it to yourself) or have the ability to quickly detach (to void confrontation), than you are one of those who accepts people just as they are…to do what you will to only your benefit, because you either lack consistent clean energy and/or you possess a deficient self creativity “gland”.

However, when you know yourself, you know that whatever you create and then share, there’s plenty more where that came from–the universe in you.

You can create the man or woman IN your dream, but you are the creator OF your dream. Whatever is in you, you have the ability to create in reality-and whatever you put into your creation, will be reflected back to you.

I am grateful to God and all others. Peace Love and Harmony to you.
1/1/2014

Watch “Sean Conn & L Cizzle – Be A Father To Your Child” on YouTube

Self-Healing: Reflection, Acceptance, Placement, Healing

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re in some sort of pain, and tears keep coming up to the rim of your eyelids? As overwhelming the pain you’re feeling is, you really don’t want to cry in public (whether it’s of embarrassment or inappropriate timing), so you look up toward the sky and swallow your tears…and your spirit groans quietly. And you do this repeatedly while you dwell in feeling sorry and pity for yourself.

I’ve been in that position as well. In fact, it was very recent. It seems my relationships with friends of years are coming to abrupt emotionally painful ends; AND even frenzy among my family members. If it’s not me pulling painfully pulling myself away, it’s someone painfully pushing me away. I even notice it on a global scale; via media and/or witnessing sudden fights break out between strangers, over something so little as, one is offended for being cut in front of on a boarding bus line.

Not to deviate, but I believe there’s a grander event going on—to humanity as a whole. With all of the universal and planetary upsetting which as been happening in greater and stronger waves, relations of all sorts are being tried and measured for “heart-felt” authenticity–true love. True love knows no pain. All that is in LIKENESS frequencies and vibrations are being “rearranged” back unto their true placement, or state of being.

It kinds of reminds me of a big ball of string. It only becomes more messy and more tightened as it gets toward the center. Take heed, the chaos does get smaller and eventually disappear; with a touch of love and patience—and possibly woven into something more beautiful, based in that same loving patience, in peace.

Back to the purpose of this article. How to Self-Heal. What I discovered throughout all of my painful “breakups” was that it’s really hard for me to talk to other people about my TRUE feelings. People cringe when others expel emotions from the heart. Not everyone is heart-centered. So, what happens when you’re in emotional pain and it appears there’s no one there with a shoulder to cry on? Go within, and heal your own self.

Indeed yes! Think about it. Even if there was someone with a good strong shoulder (or ear), they will not feel the core of your pain—everyone has a empathetic limit (unless they’re a glutton for pain, then you should be questioning your sudden energy loss whenever they leave your presence. Those are empathic vampyres). Even when an animal is treated for physical wounds—the treatment is limited to cleansing and a dressing. The animal methodically licks itself to aid in its own healing.

We humans are somewhat similar in addressing our emotional issues. In order relieve pain, we habitually do one of two things (some people do both depending on circumstances). One is, dwell in self-pity, not necessarily needing another’s presence, but the more people the more pity. Yes, they have a pity-party (a form of narcissism).

The other common habit is, convincing themselves and everyone around them that they fine, while attributing sudden breakdowns to work or home related stress, depending where they’re at during such a state. Many people have “made it work” on those habits, and others for years.

Another self-neglectful habit comes to mind; emotional eating. Eating until the pain is forgotten. This method usually, unbeknownst to the self, involves eating dull neutral-colored foods when alone, ie. ice cream, cookies, chips—and brightly colored foods when in company, ie decorative foods, cheeses, breads, and fast foods.

Self-healing begins by accepting that you’re wounded in some sort of way. It’s ok to have pain and cry, wince or whimper. In fact, in one of those are good signs. You’re acknowledging that you’re uncomfortable in some sort of way.
Pain definitely does not make people feel good. And one can “put on face” but for so long. Ego loves pain. It needs someone to blame outside ourselves. Pain can be and is used as an emotional crutch.

Pain lasts no longer than your willingness to accept it and then place yourself in position/s to overcome it—and do. Self-healing works. Since we must interact with other people in this world, we will experience many different degrees of pain from time to time; those being emotional, physical, mental, psychological, and neglect.

Self-healing brings about some beneficial self-upliftments. You’ll gain in the ability to accept responsibility for un/intentional pain, to yourself and/or others. You’ll embrace the want to forgive without condemnation. Not only will you begin to develop clearer foresight and insight, but also the time it takes you to heal may become lessened with regular practice. You’ll even feel more confidence to be able to approach new experiences without triggering painful memories; some you may even forget!

It’s important to make Self-healing a regular practice. Just like we attract positive energies, we can and do accumulate negative energies; and in most cases, the longer one neglects their well-being, the harder it can be to heal old wounds. So practice these powerful keys; reflection, acceptance, placement, and healing—often. Until they become a way of life.

My healing self is becoming me, so I’m not just talking to talk, but I’m walking the walk. As I clear away the grand illusion of pain-dependency and self-neglect, a newness is becoming more and more revealed in me. And I see myself happy in this newness. So as things may be coming up in degrees of chaos, I feel like I already overcame it all; I’m just working on the details. Bless

SELF-REFLECTION: The purpose of this key is to realize and review our thoughts and actions, without becoming stuck, or self-judging. Our goal is to learn from them, where we neglected obvious signs or moved in unawareness (without beating ourselves up). From our mistakes, we are able to learn to activate more constructive thoughts and beings in our lives.

ACCEPTANCE: This key unlocks the ability for one to be able and do take responsibility for any thoughts or actions in which the result/s did not come in accord with the betterment of self and/or others.

PLACEMENT: This key is very important, not necessarily more important than the others-they all work in conjunction. I mean very important in a sense of, how important is it to you that you begin self-healing RIGHT NOW. This key actually opens up “portals” to what ever place it is that you feel you need to be to begin removing the pain out of yourself. Many people don’t consciously realize when they’re in placement-state; they often try to busy themselves out of one thing and move busily into another. That is very distracting.

I will explain placement by example. Say you want to purge of a failed relationship. Do you tend to keep looking at photos and old texts, and/or other items of that person— and think , cry, think, and cry harder, then fall asleep in memory lane—only to wake up feeling crashed?

You may have REFLECTED on where you went wrong, and you’ve ACCEPTED that the relationship is over. However, you continue to hold THINGS in order to hold onto memories in pity. PLACEMENT is committing to yourself to be able to LET GO and move forward. Clearing your space (your room, home, office, etc.) of memoranda PLACES you farther from pain and closer to healing. That was the portal!

The act of clearing rearranges your energies to begin healing. Some people need to travel physically to clear and some meditate to clear. Just be committed to continue moving forward—with a knowing that the pain will pass.

HEALING: Most people would think healing is to simply feel better; I did too. But get this! Healing IS to feel better; but it is also to KNOW better in order to DO better in order to BE better! You’re not in unnecessary pain anymore. You know what it is and you know what processes of self-neglect and/or unawareness took you there. You now know, by practicing insight, foresight, and self-awareness, you can do more constructive activities, empowering yourself to be a better person—to live being a healed person.

Bravo! We are a team aren’t we! And if you read to this far…I know you had some uncomfortable moments, some “o my goodness that’s me” moments, some “this is some good stuff!” moments. But most of all, my goal is to enlighten you to something about yourself that you may not have been aware of. YOU have the power to heal yourself! I encourage you to love yourself and uplift yourself, encourage yourself, and have regular communion with God. This raises your energy vibrations into a higher love; a joyous and healthy love. God bless you!

Self-Encouragement: Single Parenting

BEing a single parent with almost no support system other than mySelf has had its challenges, and still does. Until my children are older and have greater sense of Self-guidance, I stay in parent-training with mySelf. Here I share a really good conversation (unedited) that I had with mySelf, and I did feel encouraged. Bless

 

You allow yourselves as humans and as parents to live under dictatorship of the absent parent movements, and the world’s.

Figure a way to acquire your needs and wants without said absent parent. Figure a way to lessen your dependence on your government, if not completely. We could get into a whole discussion about this planet’s numerous violations against universal laws; but not at this time.

Your writing is a beautiful, in-depth description of your human experience—lacking shame, and you’re able to cultivate guidance for those unsure of where they are in the present. Share it now. Everything that is happening is happening NOW. Remember, sponsor your own idea and work the details along the way. You’ve been creating less negative reflections and creating more positive ones. Share the many reflections of you and manifest your highest BEing. You’ve been doing less negative reflections and BEing a more positive Self. Either way, you create who you want to be.

You must be honest. Speak up. Do the opposite of fighting for money, love, sex and seeking others to fulfill your life, live your own truth! You’ve come the long way, but you’re here. And you’re progressively living NOW. Remember, God, Self, then all others. Otherwise, you’re living a lie your whole life—to think it’s any order other than.

You may not bust out with whatever others consider top-notch on the scene. But again, neither are they! Many of your so-called celebrity gurus are actually distracting humans from their Selves. They drive an economic market at helping themselves; humans pay them to tell them to do what they donot do themselves. They get paid for nothing. You may have little money, so what! Truth prevails. BE comfortable…more comfortable. Trust yourSelf. You will have to guide others more, to get back them back on their feet, or path. Especially with the recent storm that came upon your town. Still stay braced in readiness.

You’d be surprised at how many people are living the very things they say they hate—lies! The holiday shopping numbers did not suffer, regardless to what your media reports. Homeless people are suffering. Hungry people are suffering. Those numbers grow constantly. EVERYONE is responsible for such BEings. When they come to embrace those things with understanding, then will they begin to know their own Selves in truth; they can put love into that which they are, are not, that which they caused, and at the same time, bless it and let it go.

You’re experiencing your own creations by way of storms. Some massive, some personal storms, many both. When something is left unattended, a storm develops. Storms are necessary. Yes, they cause destruction; and they also leave behind new ground—to build on.

Build on that foundation right there. Get your mind out of what once was. Avoid making dead-end scenarios from past experiences, you know, “what could have, should have, would have, if only he/she/I had/had not….” Meet yourself where you’re at and not where you THINK others want to see you (not necessarily where they praise you to be). Humans crave to be seen for whom they are, yet they refuse to let go of others thoughts of who they once were, or should be, so they find great difficulty in accepting their Selves. They find difficulty accepting themselves for what is, so they develop jealousies, ill will, hatred and pain and such toward others—they forget about “what goes around comes around” —until their own selves are experiencing those very pains and more.

You’d be surprised; I acquired one degree while receiving welfare, and the other while working. I kept those two journeys’ a “secret”; all while others, including my family, mocked and chastised me and categorized me as a “welfare baby momma”. Humans often are “taught” (usually on the vein of a musical beat or some culturally unconscious movie) to project whole creations of Self-destructive “trigger words”, like “baby-momma” or “baby daddy”, to the masses reality; to their Self-destruction. I still can’t say for sure what that word constitutes (it depends on the beholder). It’s one of negative vibration of mockery, envy, and anger—and needs to be put out of existence.

That must be done by those who created it or fate takes over. That’s another conversation.

I took my bachelor finals with my youngest son on my lap, even to the disagreement of other students. The professors understood; they used me as a teachable moment. The students felt like somehow in a three hour window, that my son would “catch” a disease—he almost did—a strong strain of discrimination.

Humans will find a way to BE uncomfortable, if it means causing the elimination of even just one “competitor” out the game. They glorify their material attributes. They need to SEE things to believe things. When you are spirited, you believe it to see it. Faith is your net, cast it out to manifest what you desire. The stronger your net, the further and wider it spreads out into the unniverse. How do you think Jesus fed thousands? His brethren had only a few fish and some loaves; he cast out a faith “net” and received (manifested) to his heart’s desire—to feed a people. Grow your faith; make strong your net, strong enough to weather storms.

Imagine when I gave out invites! Lolol the faces!!! I hid my cap and gown until I got to the ceremony, and I hid it back on the block. I did welcome the personal praise of strangers though. I walked across that graduation stage with others who had just as many struggles as me. But they lacked gusto to speak up, and despised me for doing so. When folk found out, even my family, I graduated from welfare baby momma to “think she better than somebody”. Go figure huh?

Speaking for up yourSelf keeps you in the greater game; the one so few dare to attempt and even fewer last. Silence holds disunion to light. Speak in earnest; meditate in spirit and in truth. Those who despise today praise tomorrow and curse the past.

As single parents, we’ll always be sought to be degraded, especially when we rise above. That means we’re one less family unit to blame for “living off peoples paychecks”. One day they’ll be no one to blame but the true villains. We aren’t any different than anybody else—we just do what we do with kids behind us. So in a sense we’re held to a higher standard. We’re directly responsible for molding lives other than our own—to be raised and evolved to the betterment of theirSelves and others. We want to be able to do that without being blamed for everyone else’s projections. In the meantime, the rich continues to pay the middle class to blame the poor as the ones stealing from them.

Live your life without seeking approval of the world. Let it be exposed that you’re not only DOING what you feel, but that you’re FEELING what you’re doing and you are BEing what you feel. And so, in essence, you experience what you BE. There will be others who will FIND anything about you to believe it’s to their detriment, even though it is not so. Still, live for yourSelf. Live for God so that ALL may receive. Is that not why you’re here?

Bless