Self Reflection: Don’t Hold It Against Me

Don’t Hold It Against Me

by Hurit Nititka

 

Don’t hold it against me…

because it’s evident that by our truths we are not all created equal.

 

For him…

the color of his skin automatically gets him in, whatever he wants,

no questions asked accept, what denomination would like your money in?

 

For her…

birth should be beautiful but instead they say… look at you, what did you do, you just ruined your life.

It would’ve been acceptable had he made you his wife.

 

For him…

a mistake cost him dearly, now he’s locked upstate,

moms kept warning him to stop….not hard enough,

cause his siblings was hungry, and shit got tough.

He knew the risks and still tried his luck.

 

For her…

family denied her cause she wouldn’t abort

so she moved in with him and the first night they fought,

and the second night, the third night and the fourth.

He beat her so bad she now has a limp, a flinch and nervous cough.

He suddenly lost his job and now she carryin’ TWO kids, and she thinkin’,

would it really have been different if we first got married?

 

And him…

he got struggles but they can’t see through the lives he juggle.

Best at his game, best at his lies, he thinks if he fuck enough girls…

they won’t know he like guys.

 

And them…

they all looks, fucked in all kind of industries, then made a milli…off a book.

But you know what?

If they get fucked hard to the soul they can live their dream,

they finer than pimps in suits sellin’ their scheme.

 

And you…

talent for sell…momma said do something better with ya life…

but you didn’t…o well.

A hundred bitches, a hundred lives, and a hundred thousand dollar rides, sir just sign there…

yeah right there on the dotted line.

Now, what denomination would you like your loan in?

 

So don’t hold it against me for seeing the evidence that our truths are not all created equal.

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30 Minutes* Of Self-Empowerment

Hi All!

(*30 Minute Self-Empowerment Session done alone laying on my own couch.)

Reflection, Acceptance, Placement, and Healing

I’m listening to distanced muffled sounds. I remember I dreamed I was in suspended animation…in nothingness. There was a muffled voice. I’ve been like this for weeks. Attentively listening to muffled voices, and feeling comfortable, or relaxed. Tuning in but never quite making out the words clearly. Hmp

No wonder I’m attracted to muffled sounds–voices in particular. Could be my own throat chakra manifested unbalanced. Hmmm…..That’s my thought adjuster (or higher self) working on me.

Eureka! I seek muffled voices for comfort yet complain of lack ability to verbalize my messages via video! IT’S SELF-HINDRANCE! Wowa! On the spot!

I will open my throat chakra by attracting clear and audible voices. Opening a clear reflective channel to be able to express my verbal Self. Be well! :0)

Note: I found in my dream journal a past entry. The voice was clear at some point in the void. It said “Create”. I must’ve froze up in fear, hence suspended animation.

I’m thinking I experienced myself on a voided timeline, and manifested that in waking state; being comfortable w/muffled voices. When actually, that aspect of myself has been the muffled voice trying to express; same as me in waking state.

It started as SOMETHING, but my fear hindered me from moving forward; leaving that aspect (my voice) stuck in a void.