Self Reflection: Don’t Hold It Against Me

Don’t Hold It Against Me

by Hurit Nititka

 

Don’t hold it against me…

because it’s evident that by our truths we are not all created equal.

 

For him…

the color of his skin automatically gets him in, whatever he wants,

no questions asked accept, what denomination would like your money in?

 

For her…

birth should be beautiful but instead they say… look at you, what did you do, you just ruined your life.

It would’ve been acceptable had he made you his wife.

 

For him…

a mistake cost him dearly, now he’s locked upstate,

moms kept warning him to stop….not hard enough,

cause his siblings was hungry, and shit got tough.

He knew the risks and still tried his luck.

 

For her…

family denied her cause she wouldn’t abort

so she moved in with him and the first night they fought,

and the second night, the third night and the fourth.

He beat her so bad she now has a limp, a flinch and nervous cough.

He suddenly lost his job and now she carryin’ TWO kids, and she thinkin’,

would it really have been different if we first got married?

 

And him…

he got struggles but they can’t see through the lives he juggle.

Best at his game, best at his lies, he thinks if he fuck enough girls…

they won’t know he like guys.

 

And them…

they all looks, fucked in all kind of industries, then made a milli…off a book.

But you know what?

If they get fucked hard to the soul they can live their dream,

they finer than pimps in suits sellin’ their scheme.

 

And you…

talent for sell…momma said do something better with ya life…

but you didn’t…o well.

A hundred bitches, a hundred lives, and a hundred thousand dollar rides, sir just sign there…

yeah right there on the dotted line.

Now, what denomination would you like your loan in?

 

So don’t hold it against me for seeing the evidence that our truths are not all created equal.

Self-Reflection: Black Hole

Black Hole
by Hurit Nitika

Consumed by all and nothing…
Highest greatest widest deepest fullest vessel…NOTHINGNESS.
Nothing IS.
IT is nothing…
until it is born.
Nothing bears all…thought time space matter…
…and nothing.
I was before
I AM.
I will…
…again
be
Nothingness…and all.
Forever.

Self Reflection: Sadie and Maud

Sadie and Maud

by Gwendolyn Brooks

 

Maud went to college.

Sadie stayed at home.

Sadie scraped life

with a fine-tooth comb.

She didn’t leave a tangle in.

Her comb found every strand.

Sadie was one of the livingest chits

in all the land.

 

Sadie bore two babies

under her maiden name.

Maud and Ma and Papa

nearly died of shame.

 

When Sadie said last so-long

Her girls struck out from home.

(Sadie had left as heritage

Her fine-tooth comb.)

 

 

Maud, who went to college,

is a thin brown mouse.

She is living all alone

In this old house.

 

Spiritual Dialogue: Vibrational Storms

Problem: I end up in fear every time I plan to go to the dance club. I plan with people and then as the day is coming closer I think of reasons not to go. I think about my responsibilities at home, my family, my job, what the people at the club  will be doing, and what if something goes wrong. Then on the day of, I literally get an anxiety attack, and that becomes my excuse not to go. Then I feel safe again when the time has passed.

As a result, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Is this all in my head or should I really stay away from party clubs? I really do want to be social, make new friends, and have a good time while being responsible.

Solution: You are suffering with inner imbalance. Your external environment seeks to transform your inner peace, while your higher awareness is trying to maintain your inner peace.

What you fear is going “back” to where you use to be and what you use to do…and finding out that people haven’t changed.

Whatever is on that frequency, the people, plants, animals, is because their vibrations match that particular frequency. They are “locked” in that frequency, until they are ready to change. Your fear is actually an indication that you’ve grown or matured beyond that frequency. Your “present” vibrations are contrasting with your “past” frequencies, which never actually go anywhere, you just grow beyond them. Your fear, which is in fact a healthy signal, is telling you to be aware that something is not right between your inner state and in your external environment.

Humans are much like weather systems within a greater system. Sometimes before a pouring rain, is thunder and lightening. Thunder and lightening is caused by two very different temperament systems coming in contact with each other, so it is within humans. Within you may be a peaceful vibration, and  going into certain external vibrations can cause an unbalance in your being, thus the anxiety. The external vibrations are seeking to occupy and take over the same internal space, thus creating your thunder and lightening. The result will be a high or low, or happiness or unhappiness.

You are experiencing an internal/external “battle” within your mpral conscious mind. This “battle” causes unbalance in your whole being, which for many people, can result in mental and/or physical illness, if they are unaware of their inner unbalance.

If you listen to your vibrations warnings and take the steps necessary to redirect your thoughts early, you can void “falling” back into old ways–lower frequencies.

Instead of fighting with yourself about having a good time in old places, try something new…something different than what you did before. Meet new people where you are. Your goal is to enjoy your new life responsibly while being at peace within yourself, and being happy where you are and with the people you are around.

Spiritual Dialogue: Checking In

It feels like a lot to bear and sometimes I think it is…though as I might appear to be OK. As I’ve said before, I’ve taught myself to left go of illusion in moments, spend as little time in void as possible, gain the new ledge I require, wake up, write on it, share some, and keep it moving.

I admit…there are consequences to doing that…consequences to not resting…going without grounding for long periods. The body gathers too much energy and it becomes that much harder to release…at lease in an upright manner. The body muscles freeze in pain…and sometimes it vibrates so hard…it burns the hands and feet…or feels like a thousand needles sticking.

…and sometimes I can’t believe some of the things I say…until it solidifies itself as truth…usually through some synchronized event.

Not to say I don’t trust myself…its just new to me as old as it might be to the ancestral realms…it be heavy at times…the realizations…and the awakenings. And a good amount of that time I thinking how much I put myself through…how much I messed up.

I rarely get upset with those who blinded us to the truth…cause then I’d still be giving them my attention…to their benefit and my detriment. I try to tell others but like myself…there are so many awakenings and realizations to go through…for all of us. Don’t get stuck on any one truth…because another one…a newer one is surely going to usurp that current one.

Still others like myself are fast-tracking…I have yet to admit the realization to the reason…if I slow down and focus on the details of why, I might fool myself into believing I can’t do it.

As we view the various groups traveling together…they travel as one external being..but in a fearful manner called SAFE. While there may be safety in numbers externally…everyone is not on the same path internally. Internally many still hold tight to illusion while externally appearing to have moved into higher frequencies. Our energies tell us otherwise. Internally, many still have yet to answer to themselves.

Knowledge and experience are two different things…many are sharing knowledge…few are sharing their experiences…proving internal fear…of ridicule..or something, someone or other. Or self.

And so this is part reason why I travel alone…and meet others at intervals. Though I also admit…I don’t stay around long enough…I feel because much like in wake state…I also carry dual duties in sleep state. I’m working on me and still having to show others the way.

By the time someone gets my message I done moved on in my journey…not saying I don’t mind back-tracking though. I probably just need to utilize more tools to set the message out front.

Resources have come about enabling us to imprint guidance into the ether via the writing, video, and such.

Thanks. Thank you. Much.

The Light Chamber

I went into a light chamber last night. I was singing the pain away, and calling Jesus between breaths. I FELT the song I sang in every fiber of my being. It was my song-the more I let go the greater I sang!

It felt like my soul was being sucked with every note I belted out. The depths of my soul was being cleansed. There was a bed there, but I couldn’t lie down, I was too caught up in my spirit.

When you finally sing your own song, you’ll understand-the only way TO survive is in the spirit. You’ll be yourself-in a different light-of your truth.

God is light. God is love.

We Reap What We Sow

One of my dreams last night, I was at a place with some other people as students. We sat high above something of a big space. It was beautiful and some parts one could see their reflection. We were informed that it echoes what we speak. We were told to be mindful of our intentions before were spoke into the echo space, because what we put out would come back. Including our thoughts.

But also, I saw some events from my past in that same space. I forgave all of those people for mocking me, stealing from me, and abusing me, and I forgave myself for being ignorant. We prepared to leave, and some of the people ran to the echo space and said things that would serve only themselves. I used it also but we’ll keep that private. :0)