Self Reflection: Don’t Hold It Against Me

Don’t Hold It Against Me

by Hurit Nititka

 

Don’t hold it against me…

because it’s evident that by our truths we are not all created equal.

 

For him…

the color of his skin automatically gets him in, whatever he wants,

no questions asked accept, what denomination would like your money in?

 

For her…

birth should be beautiful but instead they say… look at you, what did you do, you just ruined your life.

It would’ve been acceptable had he made you his wife.

 

For him…

a mistake cost him dearly, now he’s locked upstate,

moms kept warning him to stop….not hard enough,

cause his siblings was hungry, and shit got tough.

He knew the risks and still tried his luck.

 

For her…

family denied her cause she wouldn’t abort

so she moved in with him and the first night they fought,

and the second night, the third night and the fourth.

He beat her so bad she now has a limp, a flinch and nervous cough.

He suddenly lost his job and now she carryin’ TWO kids, and she thinkin’,

would it really have been different if we first got married?

 

And him…

he got struggles but they can’t see through the lives he juggle.

Best at his game, best at his lies, he thinks if he fuck enough girls…

they won’t know he like guys.

 

And them…

they all looks, fucked in all kind of industries, then made a milli…off a book.

But you know what?

If they get fucked hard to the soul they can live their dream,

they finer than pimps in suits sellin’ their scheme.

 

And you…

talent for sell…momma said do something better with ya life…

but you didn’t…o well.

A hundred bitches, a hundred lives, and a hundred thousand dollar rides, sir just sign there…

yeah right there on the dotted line.

Now, what denomination would you like your loan in?

 

So don’t hold it against me for seeing the evidence that our truths are not all created equal.

Self-Encouragement: Single Parenting

BEing a single parent with almost no support system other than mySelf has had its challenges, and still does. Until my children are older and have greater sense of Self-guidance, I stay in parent-training with mySelf. Here I share a really good conversation (unedited) that I had with mySelf, and I did feel encouraged. Bless

 

You allow yourselves as humans and as parents to live under dictatorship of the absent parent movements, and the world’s.

Figure a way to acquire your needs and wants without said absent parent. Figure a way to lessen your dependence on your government, if not completely. We could get into a whole discussion about this planet’s numerous violations against universal laws; but not at this time.

Your writing is a beautiful, in-depth description of your human experience—lacking shame, and you’re able to cultivate guidance for those unsure of where they are in the present. Share it now. Everything that is happening is happening NOW. Remember, sponsor your own idea and work the details along the way. You’ve been creating less negative reflections and creating more positive ones. Share the many reflections of you and manifest your highest BEing. You’ve been doing less negative reflections and BEing a more positive Self. Either way, you create who you want to be.

You must be honest. Speak up. Do the opposite of fighting for money, love, sex and seeking others to fulfill your life, live your own truth! You’ve come the long way, but you’re here. And you’re progressively living NOW. Remember, God, Self, then all others. Otherwise, you’re living a lie your whole life—to think it’s any order other than.

You may not bust out with whatever others consider top-notch on the scene. But again, neither are they! Many of your so-called celebrity gurus are actually distracting humans from their Selves. They drive an economic market at helping themselves; humans pay them to tell them to do what they donot do themselves. They get paid for nothing. You may have little money, so what! Truth prevails. BE comfortable…more comfortable. Trust yourSelf. You will have to guide others more, to get back them back on their feet, or path. Especially with the recent storm that came upon your town. Still stay braced in readiness.

You’d be surprised at how many people are living the very things they say they hate—lies! The holiday shopping numbers did not suffer, regardless to what your media reports. Homeless people are suffering. Hungry people are suffering. Those numbers grow constantly. EVERYONE is responsible for such BEings. When they come to embrace those things with understanding, then will they begin to know their own Selves in truth; they can put love into that which they are, are not, that which they caused, and at the same time, bless it and let it go.

You’re experiencing your own creations by way of storms. Some massive, some personal storms, many both. When something is left unattended, a storm develops. Storms are necessary. Yes, they cause destruction; and they also leave behind new ground—to build on.

Build on that foundation right there. Get your mind out of what once was. Avoid making dead-end scenarios from past experiences, you know, “what could have, should have, would have, if only he/she/I had/had not….” Meet yourself where you’re at and not where you THINK others want to see you (not necessarily where they praise you to be). Humans crave to be seen for whom they are, yet they refuse to let go of others thoughts of who they once were, or should be, so they find great difficulty in accepting their Selves. They find difficulty accepting themselves for what is, so they develop jealousies, ill will, hatred and pain and such toward others—they forget about “what goes around comes around” —until their own selves are experiencing those very pains and more.

You’d be surprised; I acquired one degree while receiving welfare, and the other while working. I kept those two journeys’ a “secret”; all while others, including my family, mocked and chastised me and categorized me as a “welfare baby momma”. Humans often are “taught” (usually on the vein of a musical beat or some culturally unconscious movie) to project whole creations of Self-destructive “trigger words”, like “baby-momma” or “baby daddy”, to the masses reality; to their Self-destruction. I still can’t say for sure what that word constitutes (it depends on the beholder). It’s one of negative vibration of mockery, envy, and anger—and needs to be put out of existence.

That must be done by those who created it or fate takes over. That’s another conversation.

I took my bachelor finals with my youngest son on my lap, even to the disagreement of other students. The professors understood; they used me as a teachable moment. The students felt like somehow in a three hour window, that my son would “catch” a disease—he almost did—a strong strain of discrimination.

Humans will find a way to BE uncomfortable, if it means causing the elimination of even just one “competitor” out the game. They glorify their material attributes. They need to SEE things to believe things. When you are spirited, you believe it to see it. Faith is your net, cast it out to manifest what you desire. The stronger your net, the further and wider it spreads out into the unniverse. How do you think Jesus fed thousands? His brethren had only a few fish and some loaves; he cast out a faith “net” and received (manifested) to his heart’s desire—to feed a people. Grow your faith; make strong your net, strong enough to weather storms.

Imagine when I gave out invites! Lolol the faces!!! I hid my cap and gown until I got to the ceremony, and I hid it back on the block. I did welcome the personal praise of strangers though. I walked across that graduation stage with others who had just as many struggles as me. But they lacked gusto to speak up, and despised me for doing so. When folk found out, even my family, I graduated from welfare baby momma to “think she better than somebody”. Go figure huh?

Speaking for up yourSelf keeps you in the greater game; the one so few dare to attempt and even fewer last. Silence holds disunion to light. Speak in earnest; meditate in spirit and in truth. Those who despise today praise tomorrow and curse the past.

As single parents, we’ll always be sought to be degraded, especially when we rise above. That means we’re one less family unit to blame for “living off peoples paychecks”. One day they’ll be no one to blame but the true villains. We aren’t any different than anybody else—we just do what we do with kids behind us. So in a sense we’re held to a higher standard. We’re directly responsible for molding lives other than our own—to be raised and evolved to the betterment of theirSelves and others. We want to be able to do that without being blamed for everyone else’s projections. In the meantime, the rich continues to pay the middle class to blame the poor as the ones stealing from them.

Live your life without seeking approval of the world. Let it be exposed that you’re not only DOING what you feel, but that you’re FEELING what you’re doing and you are BEing what you feel. And so, in essence, you experience what you BE. There will be others who will FIND anything about you to believe it’s to their detriment, even though it is not so. Still, live for yourSelf. Live for God so that ALL may receive. Is that not why you’re here?

Bless