Think That Big And Be Better

My thoughts in God have been so amazing in 2012 alone. The many conversations, training simulations on “how to BE”, the peaceful walks in places beyond what I ever thought to think. The preparations, the guidance; all so beautiful.

I used to have a crippling fear of death that I wouldn’t sleep for nights. I cured it in my God state.
I judged mySelf to be a worse person than I was so I was afraid to be saved. I’m saved.
I thought I couldn’t BE by mySelf outside of a relationship. I AM.
God knows Im honored to have been blessed with children. My change is greatly reflected in them, as they are my greatest and most consistent creations thus far.

Feeling the changes and noticing subtle differences in this world compared to the old world, I continue to diligently work on blending my dreams into my current reality. I sometimes think they’re just too big or that my dreams are had before its time. That only means the trinkets of this world aint doing much for my particular being these days. What I desire, money can’t afford. Peace, Love, and Harmony. Many desire these beings, so we BE.

I no longer believe that there is an entity separate from me looking to reign hell down on me, other than man. My christ in me is only as faithful and committed as my will is assuredly strong in christ.

I often hear a people griping and arguing about whom to praise, and what race should that whom be. As children we are ignorant. Our parents and grandparents grew up in a time of fear-based doctrine. They only taught us (beat into us their fear). We were taught to praise Jesus the man, whom most assume is of white persuasion. Coming into adulthood we are learned by our environment and experiences that Jesus may or may not be black. I only ever see white light, or golden showers of all the ascended masters I encounter. So for me, the argument is void. My heart tells me that I have to see things for myself to experience, otherwise I’d just still be discussing my life away and not doing what I came here to do.

Then somewhere between the new religious church and the world’s view that church is a hip-hop phrase, most get confused and abandon ship. The line between the two seems to have merged. Did the church step into the world or did the world go into the church?

May I say to all who listen. It is much easier said than done to unlearn something ingrained in us from childhood; but it is doable.

Others projections hinders a people from creating in each his/her own mind. There’s no time like NOW. At the same time that we remove something from ourSelves, something must take its place, lest we feel empty within, or unfulfilled. Fill your emptiness with God. Feel God and let God fill you.

The mind is so powerful, and man knows this! YOU know this! The invader never takes something from its host without giving something back. The give back is not good. An invader also has the ability to paralyze its host/victim, feed off of it, and then either let it die slowly or suddenly cause it a quick death, should it no longer serve its immediate purpose. In other words, the victim doesn’t know its being fed on because its been desensitized.

Victims don’t know they are victims (slaves). They are given a false sense of perception, never knowing the true; unless some particular chord is touch out of nowhere, plucked. They deny the slight feeling. It happens again. Pluck Pluck. They get to listening for it. Pluck Pluck, wake up. They look around and then at themselves, only to see parts missing. The pain hits! What the hell is going on?! Flashes of their old whole Self. What happened?! Why am I here?!  My God! I gotta save mySelf before I die. WHO got me like this?!

Now, upon waking, we first have to fight against that which feeds off us. Some of us may even fight for a while then give up and don’t even work to live for ourSelves anymore.

Those of us that keep fighting eventually learn that in order to save ourselves we have to keep looking within ourselves, removing the poison and adding self-care, to heal our whole Self. At some point, we learn that the stronger we become, the greater our strength and abilities become.

Eventually, the invader understands it no longer has the ability to control you.

Imagine if we all realized that we’re being fed off of and then we answer to that plucking chord in our spine, and then wake up and save ourSelves! The invader would break down and leave. Leaving us to live in peace again.

Think that big and BE more.

Self-Transformation: My Birthday Wish

Having been through so many transformations in the last 36 years, I must say 2012 has been the biggest and has been the most impactful on my BEing.

I recall being tired toward the end of 2011 because all the time I had here, I had not done what I was supposed to do. I got caught up in the death throes of the world.

Regardless, I was never “left alone”, I called, my God showed up, I was “rescued”, I praised us, and walked back into the valley.

Well, this time I called. Silence. I pleaded. Silence. O crap. I thought, “Whatever, You probably don’t exist anyway, all that was ME!” I became sick. I had a heart attack. When I touched people, I caught a fever. I argued with everyone and about everything. I was far off frequency.

Any project I touched, soured and never came to fruition. I couldn’t see people for who they were, so I latched to trust those who presented as light, but got me in corners that I had to fight my way out of—sometimes literally. My gifts were gone.

I was cut off. The phone stopped ringing, the invites stopped, I was cold all the time, even to the touch. With TWO degrees I couldn’t find a job! I was tired and would sleep for days and nights at a time. My daughter would ask for her mommy I’d say, “I am your mommy.” And she would say, “You not my mommy!”

I had an affair with a married man (yes we’re even responsible for our ignorance (lack of information)) and that catapulted myself straight to hell. Ladies! When I tell you the pain and ridicule was indescribable…I mean it!!! It isn’t a hell where you are attacked by righteousness others; you are attacked by others like your self! I didn’t know that at the time though…they presented themselves as righteousness because I was the newest one in hell at that time. They were already there. Gossiping. Their jealousy came from their thinking that I was acting as if I was too good to be around them.


Just like heaven has its qualifications to be amongst likeness, so does hell. But where do you go when you’re too good for hell and not good enough for heaven?

I grappled in the darkness, I used drugs to get up and to lay down. I was a prescription addict for muscle relaxants and Tylenol 3. I’d go about mySelf high on marijuana—thinking no one could tell. Very few people knew—it didn’t matter if no one knew. God knew.

It got so bad, I would be walking down the street and strangers would make statements, “I see you!” or “Your head is uncovered.” One time it was raining and this old lady walked up to me, I lifted my umbrella and she said, “Where are you supposed to be?” I was freaked. I never turned around to see where those people went. I already knew.

I still called mySelf paranoid swearing. Whatever you heard, I heard different. And whatever you saw I saw different. People wearing white robes. And even on the clock. Every time I looked, it said 11:11, or 1:11, 2:11, 3:11 and on…to the T. Someone was trying to get my attention. I refused to answer because I was stubborn. Yet, I yearned to be home again. I cried like a baby when I was alone.

Let me tell you, I wasn’t in church at the alter, as I had done many times since I was a child—first forced. I wasn’t on my knees praying nor was I reading my bible. When Christ came to me, I was on a date. You know, a man/woman date. I was single still.

It wasn’t until after my re-membrance in Christ that I realized, “Prepare your home, and keep my word. I’m coming to you like a thief in the night…only God knows your appointed hour. You’ll know me when I come unto you.” The Light is extraordinary…I was covered in it. Everything was.

My date was an atheist. God came through that man and told me stop second-guessing mySelf, to trust mySelf.

I moaned and cried and my body was in pain for days and nights. I ate only bread and water for three days and nights. God was working on me. That was 1/7/12.

Throughout this year, my faith, my strength, my love, and trust in mySelf, in Christ, and in God has grown and solidified tremendously. I refuse to condemn mySelf under man’s ignorance. I look back and can see how far I’ve walked because I see very little of my old self left.

Heaven’s army has put as much work into me as I was willing to put into mySelf. There were times when I thought I didn’t have the courage to cross the thresholds presented to me, I still had fear so I could not cross over. I did allow others doubts in their minds, beliefs and beings hinder my own Self progress, but God is patient, as I am still a human. Now I listen, I respect, I converse, and I keep moving on my path. I be aware of mySelf over all elses. I received my “gifts” back and more.
Only recently, I had a few dollars and thought I’d spruce up my home. I dreamed mySelf somewhere in the future doing some big things. The thought came to me that there is no future. There is only NOW. So when I woke up, I played on the idea all day; it was later that night that after I wrote an article. The light bulb came on.

The idea came to me, “Buy your wordpress domain now.” I was exxcited! Today, as of my birthday, I’m a certified owner of nine domains. My house still needs sprucing, but it’ll happen in its time. I sponsored my idea. God taught me to don’t sit around waiting for the future; BE in NOW. I have no idea what to do with all of the sites, but when the idea comes to me—I’m on it! In the meantime, I work on them. To empower you unto yourSelf. Bless

You may say anybody can do that, I say yes but can everybody be successful in Christ? I asked for forgiveness unto mySelf, I forgave all who abused mySelf in any way. I couldn’t move forward if I didn’t. I put in truth work with mySelf and others to get here and I’ve been transformed. I’m washed and prepared and dressed in Christ.

I work in the universe, for God. So do many of you, you just have to acknowledge, that it IS and has been God all along who runs this whole function. Not you by yourself, not me by myself. Not governments. God, Self, Spirit—together makes the whole BEing human a miracle.

I’m thankful, grateful, awesome and Lord knows, I do some nonsense to my Self again—-well I’m not. I love mySelf too much. I love God even more. My God is merciful and glorious, forgiving all loving yet stern in will.

So here it is, my last birthday in the Age of Pisces. I’m moving into a peaceful, all-loving state. Age of Aquarius. The world is all kinds of experiences, and mother earth herself, withstood mans nonsense. She’s shaking it off and moving up. Many humans are shaking it off and moving up.

You know, someone asked me recently, “How do you know it’s GOD speaking to you though?” I could’ve quoted the whole bible, and brought the spirit forth, and he STILL wouldn’t have believed me! That’s how the world works! Even in our seemingly holy friends, who jump about in church, and throw their hands up only in a crowded room, on one day of a week–THERE too, sits temptation to give up on ourSelves! God does NOT temp us! God IS and IS NOT. There is no in between…like today you feeling Godly but yesterday God was tempting you…NO! You were tempting yourSelf! So you FEEL like you want to tempt another! You can’t be anybody on their own path just because you want to glorify yourself. Some folk have wounds so deep and some have only scraps in the world. Be patient with your Self.

You can’t ACT Godly…well you can but why when you can BE Godly? I use to act Godly when I was in the world and folk who was acting just as foolish loved it! And when you don’t say a certain word or run find something in scripture (or better yet, you find a scripture that goes AGAINST YOUR moral beliefs) or they just didn’t get the holy ghost on cue..and their foot just didn’t have that extra step like the pastor’s… know! You hear folk saying, “That’s not how God acts!”, or “The devil is a liar!” Well of course the devil’s a liar…and you get credit for pointing that out! Put you lack tools to upright your brethren! Live your truth! If you believe that your truth isn’t God….so be it! Still every knee will bow and every tongue will confess.

Many of us can explain religion, but can we explain God? The prophets and teachers and messengers come to warn you, bring you into awareness of your BEings, against yourSelf and against God; you fear yet you still indulge. We come to show you the way back unto the light. If you continually quote John’s experience, or Paul’s, or any other and sitting around waiting for those same exact things to happen to you, what can you say you’ve done with YOUR life? Besides wait? Come out of the church buildings, sitting and waiting and BE the church. God is for ALL. ALL has his works.

I’m so satisfied with everything, if I died, I’m still waking up in heaven. I just beat y’all to the punch on housing! Lighten up. Death is a part of living life.

Seriously though…take it how you want to but my truth is God exists…and only in hell would we forget the very essence of our spirits. Happy birthday to me. My wish is for you to find your way back. I love you, so does Jesus Christ, his team, and so does God.

Self-Realization: Sponsor Your Own Idea

With things going the way they are in this world, its government, and a people, one must re-train their own mind to acquire Self-fulfillment or Self-betterment NOW.

I, like most people have had many ideas that would allow me minimal dependence on the government, family, and friends. ALL of my ideas entailed me GIVING something to others. Those ideas however, were always “killed”. Fear, ridicule, dependence on others to help me financially or the backing of someone who knows someone who knows a celebrity—all these things and others “killed my idea/dreams”.

Early 2012, based on some inside knowledge, the idea came to me to sale emergency packages/survival kits. I decided to confide in a friend on how to start up the orders. We did some research and started small, ordering just first-aid kits.

Well, I don’t have to tell you who have had similar experiences, but I’m still sharing. I began to overhear my friend friends’ talking about what a “crazy idea” I had and “how do she know something’s gonna happen?!” and “nobody wants to buy survivor kits especially not in a poor neighborhood like this, they already tryna survive!”

Doubt began to creep in. Even though I had the total money to invest, I was still looking for a namesake—a person people would surely buy the kits from—a famous person. Well, I got the famous person, and he laughed and said something to the effect of, “how do I know this is gonna work?” I remember saying, “We won’t know unless we try it.” I guess he thought I was being a smart-ass, but I was not, I was being straight-forward. Anyway, he said he’d think about it, but a day later, had someone else tell me, “he can’t afford to invest in anything without some fore-seeable benefit.” I became sad, angry, regretful, embarrassed, and did try to work my idea myself but by then I had everyone elses put-downs and put-offs in my head, and in my feelings. I gave it.

Well, clearly, we all know how Hurricane Sandy has left people throughout the East Coast. Many are without homes, clothes, food, etc. I live in one of the more devastated areas; Far Rockaway, NY. The irony of the whole thing, for me, is that we were given survival kit rations. I gotta admit, I felt like Homer Simpson after a foul-up, Doh! I’m good now, and I’ve learned from that experience.

My ideas can only be valued by others when I believe in them for mySelf first.
Humans feel a need to see the future. They want to see the outcome before the work. Maybe a handful only actually get that the future never comes; whatever we’re DOing or BEing right NOW are the very manifestations of the so-called future! BE your highest Self to be able to experience your best Self and to experience your best Self LIVE YOUR TRUTH. Bless

There are those who can’t let go—won’t let go.
They are desperately gripping on to the ledge, trying to grasp at any “control” they have left over others—over you. They will fall.

Because they are now aware the choices they made are not leading to their betterment nor others, they realize they will eventually destroy themselves, and seek to take you with them any way they can—mind, body and soul. They don’t want you to “be your own man”, so to speak.

When you want to change a thought that is “rooted” in your system, BE in accord with your own new idea.
So that your mind won’t tell you you can’t and it kills the idea, do it quickly.
(Humans are trained to not want better for their selves, and to live by others thoughts. You can even discern whether this message is to your upper self-guidance.)

Then you can get into the details of how your new idea works best to evolve yourSelf BEing in your truth. The more Self-driven you are, the greater and faster the manifestation of your idea. Believe in YOURSELF.

Think about the lost hiker in the terrain. They act before they think—to the betterment of theirselves—they guarantee their own survival in each moment that they BE. Their first idea is to survive, they believe they can and then they act on doing it. The more they do to help themselves, the more they believe they with survive—and reversed. They live to BE inspirations. They are already inspirations to themselves, and survivors for theirselves. That was the idea.

So, here it is, grow your own opportunities to BE your highest expression of yourSelf by immediately acting on your own ideas.

To inspire others, inspire yourself.

Live your truth.