SELF-DETERMINATION: Relationship Goals: Where Are We Going?

I had a conversation with an associate…we talked about be single for very long times and how we view ourselves and the kind of relationships we’ve had that caused us to become single, and where are we going now. She recently got back into a relationship…I asked her what is it based on this time, she seemed puzzled. I asked her what their goals are together, she looked at me like “What goals??”

THAT is the next phase I’m going into…as much as humans say marriage is not a goal. Marriage is a goal like any other. And within the marriage are goals that the two people agreed to achieve together. There are people out there who move blindly(seeing what pops up along the way), and there are people who move consciously(creating what they desire along the way). Four seasons suffices to know whether you want to marry a person or not..whether you want to achieve longtime goals with them or not.

Too many sisters fall back into the okkee doke of “It’s been a long time, I’m lonely.” Sex is such a common base that it’s mistaken as a necessary aspect to bond two people…clearly the result is “baby mama/dada” syndrome…it never bonds anything but bodies and fluids. There are only two goals in sex…babies and orgasm. And then play house until one of you catch afire for another body somewhere. Believe I know it. I’m qualified to talk about it. A year is long enough to know whether you’re dating a selfless person or a selfish person. Why? Because selfish people don’t have patience anymore like they use to..if you aint got it or ain’t giving it, they’ll get it somewhere else. And they’ll tell you that! After a year the veil begins to thin into the truth…not what they want you to see…but the TRUTH. And sometimes the truth can be ugly! A lot of selfless people are dating some ugly people! But you ask them..and their ugly man/woman is the most beautiful thing in the world! That’s some strong wool in their mind.

Not to mention the reality shows showing sistahs beating the bloody hell out of each other to be with some dusty male who believes he benefits from his “hoes” unconscious idiocy. Two years and more is too long to fake the funk…the signs are too easy to see when you’ve become conscious. Four seasons is long enough to ask the ultimate question to the brother, “Where are we going from here?” 

Right now for me, I’m dodging traffic… I’m conscious enough to see bullshit coming…conscious enough to hear what I can’t see coming. Conscious enough to step back when there’s too much of everything or nothing going on. No rush, I can always chill and write about it. In our reapings are the conscious wisdoms of the ignorance we sowed. If we’re seeking to cross the street, we have to acknowledge what we’re crossing from, lest we think it’s something different only to find out it’s the same thing.

We’re not to call on God to escape from life but help us to consciously grow into our better and best selves.

Tune Up: Check In with God

I think some people serve a God without details and still others serve details without God…if only many people knew how limited they are by focusing on trying not to sin as oppose to simply serving in the better part of themselves and others. I feel some type of way when someone focuses so hard on not sinning (missing the mark) that they don’t realize they never actually live for the hits…the good hits of life. When a person presumes to know where you are in your life in Christ by measuring where their self is…is a sin…a miss…every time. One thing I learned directly from God is “Only God judges all man fairly.”

When I get into the truth of my religious experience (which is different for everyone while the core heart purpose may be the same) people go into denial and onto the notion of telling me what SHOULD be happening while ignoring what IS happening. That’s where false judgement comes in…and the whole “that’s the devil tricking you” or “did you take your meds you sound crazy”. Honestly it causes me to stall or chug along in hesitation–not fully express.

I thank God for being in my life…for being my life. For allowing me in the capacity that I am to travel to other dimensions and interact with all kinds of beings (that would shock some people to white hair) We all get low in our thinking/being daily…we’re human. But the heart…no man knows our hearts…and it is with our hearts that we serve the universe religiously.

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If tomorrow this planet rolled over I wouldn’t care…that doesn’t mean I’m going to neglect the life that I am living right now or purposely be poor so not to feel guilt that others don’t have or not beautify myself to make others feel beautiful. I’d be denying my life and every one of my cocurrent states and every possibility of growing or moving pass the point I stand today…! You see some people don’t want you to grow..they tell you you’re here to live, obey your government, work and die. And hey if you believe it you can achieve it!

I’m continuously uplifting and part of uplifting yourself is you gotta leave your sad stories and your abusive stories and your lonely stories alone. Let the dead bury the dead. So in serving humanity and others religiously we can relate to others but we don’t have to get low with them…and open ourselves to reflect others sins. Because its not us! We can tell our GOOD stories and keep telling them..how we’ve grown and learn to keep growing and enjoy the fruit of our labor. Think about it, if we all keep telling the same stories around and around who’s really growing anywhere out of the “program”?

Check in with God see where you’re at and grow some more but you don’t have to accept being reminded of your sin/s by anyone. Put them type out your life and let the dead bury the dead. Because you…we are living our truths from where WE each are…not from where peoples judgements lie. Knowing all I know, I’m very much infected by human thought viruses. And if I’m not constantly checking in with God, I become sickened mentally and physically. I was made aware of such last night. That I’m somewhat of a lightening rod for selfish and needy humans. A place where they can take and not give. That person understood me to the dot in “i”.

No two sins are alike. My sin is that in caring for others and about how they receive my care and messages…I tend to hold back God in sharing the details. When in all universal honestly, it is God that I need–to be able to give and be replenished without being rendered weakened and sick for lengths of time. Getting caught up in work was my excuse. But there are really no excuses are there? The very thing we are caught up in is the very think God can help us manage and still serve our higher purpose. We all can make time to check in with God. Where are you missing the mark in your life?

I was told last night to “Let it go and let God flow all through it!” I am glad someone told me…cause while I often tell others and myself…I needed to hear it from another like myself–God sent a confirmation. God loves me…and God loves you. God is working on me and I’m grateful. And still I serve. Hopes in that this passage will help you in some area of your life. Bless

Spiritual Dialogue: Checking In

It feels like a lot to bear and sometimes I think it is…though as I might appear to be OK. As I’ve said before, I’ve taught myself to left go of illusion in moments, spend as little time in void as possible, gain the new ledge I require, wake up, write on it, share some, and keep it moving.

I admit…there are consequences to doing that…consequences to not resting…going without grounding for long periods. The body gathers too much energy and it becomes that much harder to release…at lease in an upright manner. The body muscles freeze in pain…and sometimes it vibrates so hard…it burns the hands and feet…or feels like a thousand needles sticking.

…and sometimes I can’t believe some of the things I say…until it solidifies itself as truth…usually through some synchronized event.

Not to say I don’t trust myself…its just new to me as old as it might be to the ancestral realms…it be heavy at times…the realizations…and the awakenings. And a good amount of that time I thinking how much I put myself through…how much I messed up.

I rarely get upset with those who blinded us to the truth…cause then I’d still be giving them my attention…to their benefit and my detriment. I try to tell others but like myself…there are so many awakenings and realizations to go through…for all of us. Don’t get stuck on any one truth…because another one…a newer one is surely going to usurp that current one.

Still others like myself are fast-tracking…I have yet to admit the realization to the reason…if I slow down and focus on the details of why, I might fool myself into believing I can’t do it.

As we view the various groups traveling together…they travel as one external being..but in a fearful manner called SAFE. While there may be safety in numbers externally…everyone is not on the same path internally. Internally many still hold tight to illusion while externally appearing to have moved into higher frequencies. Our energies tell us otherwise. Internally, many still have yet to answer to themselves.

Knowledge and experience are two different things…many are sharing knowledge…few are sharing their experiences…proving internal fear…of ridicule..or something, someone or other. Or self.

And so this is part reason why I travel alone…and meet others at intervals. Though I also admit…I don’t stay around long enough…I feel because much like in wake state…I also carry dual duties in sleep state. I’m working on me and still having to show others the way.

By the time someone gets my message I done moved on in my journey…not saying I don’t mind back-tracking though. I probably just need to utilize more tools to set the message out front.

Resources have come about enabling us to imprint guidance into the ether via the writing, video, and such.

Thanks. Thank you. Much.

Willful Relationships: I Love You Now Change

Sistahs…the hardest thing for many of us to admit is….”It’s ME!” Ok granted your man/boyfriend/husband actually is being “wrong” toward you—in any way that wrong may be described. You must realize it is YOU who keeps his negative flow fed; you continually tolerate the pain caused to you (physical, emotional, mental, financial) by allowing what he is doing “wrong” to live in your energy aura. In other words it’s YOU!

Your partner is going to be who he is until he learns to know better AND be better…and he’s going to do what he does…until he learns to do AND does better. Fault lies in the person who thinks they know a person better than that person knows them self…and attempts to change them. You’re implying that there is something wrong with him in the first place. Not the man God sent you…no way!!! (slanted)

What you attempt to see and bring out of them, you must first see and bring out of your self. In other words, for every wrong you see in him, what is it about yourself that limits your thinking to a negative state?

People don’t change according to OUR will— unless they fear us by some distress or threatening state we place them in. Who’s to say even still we are experiencing their truth? How many times have you heard of the prisoner to writes a “confession” under forced pressure? You can try to force someone to “stay” with you but for so long–eventually truth will split from the lie, leaving the lie exposed to address itself.

Who wants to live in a fear-filled relationship disguised as Love when in company of others (who are blind to truth)…but behind closed doors…o boy…you’re tearing his head off about every little thing? From him looking at other humans with his own two eyes…to the tone in which he said hello to someone. Where is the freedom to love and BE as each human with their own will?

SO we can scream and fuss and cry and pout and ask everyone between humans and heaven, “Why won’t he change?!!!” He won’t change even when he does…because YOU haven’t changed in order to see the change in him.

And he’ll move forward without you…because you still harp on his old ways and therefore cannot see the good in him…because you can no longer see your own good. You’re too busy fussing, being angry, and picking fights. You don’t trust him…because you don’t trust yourself. You hate him…because you’ve grown to hate yourself.

And if he does continue to transgress against you, you grow more into contempt, when you really should let go. Letting go is a strong message to ANYONE who hurts you. It says, “I love you but not enough to hurt myself for you.”

SO–your prayer was answered—and he did change…but so did you—for worse. How’s that working out for you where you’re at?

Think That Big And Be Better

My thoughts in God have been so amazing in 2012 alone. The many conversations, training simulations on “how to BE”, the peaceful walks in places beyond what I ever thought to think. The preparations, the guidance; all so beautiful.

I used to have a crippling fear of death that I wouldn’t sleep for nights. I cured it in my God state.
I judged mySelf to be a worse person than I was so I was afraid to be saved. I’m saved.
I thought I couldn’t BE by mySelf outside of a relationship. I AM.
God knows Im honored to have been blessed with children. My change is greatly reflected in them, as they are my greatest and most consistent creations thus far.

Feeling the changes and noticing subtle differences in this world compared to the old world, I continue to diligently work on blending my dreams into my current reality. I sometimes think they’re just too big or that my dreams are had before its time. That only means the trinkets of this world aint doing much for my particular being these days. What I desire, money can’t afford. Peace, Love, and Harmony. Many desire these beings, so we BE.

I no longer believe that there is an entity separate from me looking to reign hell down on me, other than man. My christ in me is only as faithful and committed as my will is assuredly strong in christ.

I often hear a people griping and arguing about whom to praise, and what race should that whom be. As children we are ignorant. Our parents and grandparents grew up in a time of fear-based doctrine. They only taught us (beat into us their fear). We were taught to praise Jesus the man, whom most assume is of white persuasion. Coming into adulthood we are learned by our environment and experiences that Jesus may or may not be black. I only ever see white light, or golden showers of all the ascended masters I encounter. So for me, the argument is void. My heart tells me that I have to see things for myself to experience, otherwise I’d just still be discussing my life away and not doing what I came here to do.

Then somewhere between the new religious church and the world’s view that church is a hip-hop phrase, most get confused and abandon ship. The line between the two seems to have merged. Did the church step into the world or did the world go into the church?

May I say to all who listen. It is much easier said than done to unlearn something ingrained in us from childhood; but it is doable.

Others projections hinders a people from creating in each his/her own mind. There’s no time like NOW. At the same time that we remove something from ourSelves, something must take its place, lest we feel empty within, or unfulfilled. Fill your emptiness with God. Feel God and let God fill you.

The mind is so powerful, and man knows this! YOU know this! The invader never takes something from its host without giving something back. The give back is not good. An invader also has the ability to paralyze its host/victim, feed off of it, and then either let it die slowly or suddenly cause it a quick death, should it no longer serve its immediate purpose. In other words, the victim doesn’t know its being fed on because its been desensitized.

Victims don’t know they are victims (slaves). They are given a false sense of perception, never knowing the true; unless some particular chord is touch out of nowhere, plucked. They deny the slight feeling. It happens again. Pluck Pluck. They get to listening for it. Pluck Pluck, wake up. They look around and then at themselves, only to see parts missing. The pain hits! What the hell is going on?! Flashes of their old whole Self. What happened?! Why am I here?!  My God! I gotta save mySelf before I die. WHO got me like this?!

Now, upon waking, we first have to fight against that which feeds off us. Some of us may even fight for a while then give up and don’t even work to live for ourSelves anymore.

Those of us that keep fighting eventually learn that in order to save ourselves we have to keep looking within ourselves, removing the poison and adding self-care, to heal our whole Self. At some point, we learn that the stronger we become, the greater our strength and abilities become.

Eventually, the invader understands it no longer has the ability to control you.

Imagine if we all realized that we’re being fed off of and then we answer to that plucking chord in our spine, and then wake up and save ourSelves! The invader would break down and leave. Leaving us to live in peace again.

Think that big and BE more.
Bless

Self-Realization: After Revelation Is Realization And Then Forgiveness

Last night, I dreamed I went into my past. There was this apartment (actually, it looked like a combination of my first three apartments) that was mostly dark and a few males were there, and some friends, lying around watching television, hanging outside the apartment, smoking weed and cigarettes. I went into the bedroom and there were dressers and closets everywhere. For the strangest reason no one wanted me to go near them, but I felt a need to look at what was inside.

I opened the drawers and saw things of mine. I opened the closets and saw things of mine (I don’t know how I knew they were but they were). They were some of the most expensive silk clothing pieces with the most amazing patterns and colors hanging in the closets. The dressers held my personal things and jewelry that lit up the room. I couldn’t believe my things were stored in such a dark place! The men kept trying to keep me from looking through everything. I got a bag and began taking my belongings back. I started feeling a sense of freedom and power with every item I picked up and put in the bag. People started to disappear or walk out.

There was a man there who came and sat at my feet. I looked in the mirror and caught his eyes staring at me, they were the blackest eyes but they were shiny in my light. He tried to distract me with his physical self, and my body began to sway, and then he got behind me. I attempted to move my body away from him but he leaned on me and his body was heavy. I said, “No.”, and he disappeared. I prepared to leave with my bag, and I woke up.

I thought on the dream while lying there staring at the ceiling. I thought about how my things lit up the dark room and how powerful I felt touching my belongings again. AGAIN?! Then it hit me! I realized what was happening and I couldn’t believe it but I did. I didn’t come into this world filthy and full of sin. I was good until I caused mySelf to be distracted by the physical-ness of man and ALLOWED him to take anything he wanted of me. What a revelation!

Over the last few days, I’d been praying somewhere between a fog and being awake. Not necessarily on my knees but wherever I may be sitting, standing, and even in my bed. I was asking to be shown what I did with wrong mySelf in all these years, and where did I lose mySelf at.

It’s strange how I found a part of mySelf stuck in some dark apartment somewhere “guarded” by some lowly beings. Honestly, you know what I thought? “How the fuck could I have allowed mySelf to even lay with such filthy creatures?!” I’m not regretful, becaused I asked. That means I was ready to face my mistakes. I don’t have a feeling to sit in regret. God knew it would happen and was happening, I just had to find mySelf and realize for mySelf what I was doing, and clean mySelf up and get back right with God. After my realization moment I walked around my house in the dark. I drank some water and found my way to the couch and prayed. Afterward, I went back to sleep.

I dreamed that I attempted to team up with some women that I know in this world, to create a childcare business. It was more like I was watching mySelf. I watched how the women teamed up behind my back to figure to get more money without me knowing and would eventually cut me out of the business. Then I was on a staircase that led off to both the left and the right. I don’t know where they led to, but I had to make a decision. I woke up.

This morning I observed mySelf, “I’m floating around here feeling completely light-headed. I turn my head; everything has to catch up with my view. Granted I have a lil nasty cold but this is unusual, I feel so light. Yesterday I thought I felt the ground move under my feet.” I broke out in tears crying and asked God for forgiveness. It really sucks that I was so distracted from my path. God is a good God to show me where I went wrong and who wronged me, I wanted to know—I needed to know. Some of my past boyfriends have asked me to forgive them in dream-state and in wake state. I just always said ok. I’d always blamed myself anyway for being so stupid for being with them. But I realize now, that if nobody does anything wrong but ourselves, who or what is the point of forgiveness?

Now I truly can forgive others without them even being present. Honestly, I couldn’t forgive anyone without knowing what I was forgiving them for. The process is to look at what of our highest expressions were prevented from manifesting, or taken from our Being after we REALIZE who we are being at present is REVEALED to us. As we gather back the different aspects of ourselves, and come back into our own true Self, we ask FORGIVENESS and forgive every transgression against ourselves and God. Otherwise, we spend our whole lives doing what others are doing, and matching Jones’s and being competitive and will end up in nothingness.

As much as I want to be around others and have a great social time and even become into a personal relationship with a man—it just isn’t God’s will at this time.  I’m cleaning my life up so I cannot be jumping back and forth over the fence. I won’t be tempted to do anything outside of my Self, even if I never have another friend in this world. There’s a whole new life for me somewhere else (yet it’s my old life at the same time), in some other time. I fell somewhere through something, into this nonsense. I really don’t want to go back home with any “lowly vibrations” of this world.

After revelation is realization and then forgiveness. After my wrong was revealed to me, I realized I had gone against God and I asked for forgiveness of me and all my past selves.. I also forgive whoever knowingly and unknowingly wronged me against my God. Bless

Self-Encouragement: Growing Back UP

There’s a certain placement we come into as we attain higher and higher frequencies.

As we grow in spirit (spiritually), we think better of ourSelves. Those of you on that particular road at this present time….don’t deterred by those things that are of the world. Folk will mock you, shun you, make slander. Keep moving up!

Like, I said before, you’ll come to a point where you’ll have achieved so much evolution with yourSelf—their vibrations and frequencies can’t see you to reach you.

Keep going…don’t be thrown off by nobody else’s vibrations…(if you’re single, you now know the reason). If you’re in a “relationship”…know that opposites do not attract—they clash. Good or bad, LIKE attracts LIKE.

UP can’t be DOWN if it’s UP. BUT, DOWN can pretend it’s UP. UP is within itself— becoming more and more UP! It does still acknowledge its opposite otherwise it wouldn’t BE. Should UP engage with down, that’s what it becomes—DOWN!

Should UP realize one day after being homesick, that it’s out of its element, and not being its true being, which is UP, it must get the sickness of being DOWN out if itself—and be prepared, willing and ABLE to move back up. Begin to live your truth.

UP may be a little shaky and weak at first, but in working within itself and with likenesses, UP gains momentum, strength, and its ability to BEcome itself again.
Down may be holding and clinging and cunning and seemingly convincing, mocking you cause you ain’t DOWN no more, tryna trick you to believe its changed only to fall back DOWN into old ways…but you keep going! Because your ready, willing, and able. Because you’re UP.